SQShowSquad
CalendarSign inJoin
Two and a Half Men
RELEASED·SERIES·EN

Two and a Half Men

Mon, Sep 22, 2003
  • Comedy
Series · Synopsis

Synopsis

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

Trailer

Watch the trailer

Where to watch

Streaming on

  • Peacock Premium↗
  • YouTube TV↗
  • Philo↗
  • USA Network↗
  • Peacock Premium Plus↗
Cast

Top of the call sheet

  • Ashton Kutcher
    Ashton Kutcher
    as Walden Schmidt
  • Jon Cryer
    Jon Cryer
    as Alan Harper
  • Conchata Ferrell
    Conchata Ferrell
    as Berta
Related

If you’re into this…

  • The Other Two
    The Other Two
    2019 · series
  • Cougar Town
    Cougar Town
    2009 · series
  • Ben and Kate
    Ben and Kate
    2012 · series
  • The Four Seasons
    The Four Seasons
    2025 · series
  • Baskets
    Baskets
    2016 · series
  • High Desert
    High Desert
    2023 · series
  • Uncle
    Uncle
    2014 · series
  • Casual
    Casual
    2015 · series
  • Son of the Beach
    Son of the Beach
    2000 · series
  • It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
    It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
    2005 · series
SQShowSquad
CalendarSign inJoin
Episodes

12 seasons · 262 episodes

Ended · 262 aired
Season 1
24 episodes · 24 aired
▾
  • E1
    Pilot
    Aired · Tue, Sep 23, 2003 · 30m

    Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

  • E2
    Big Flappy Bastards
    Aired · Tue, Sep 30, 2003 · 30m

    Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.

  • E3
    Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
    Aired · Tue, Oct 7, 2003 · 30m

    Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.

  • E4
    If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap
    Aired · Tue, Oct 14, 2003 · 30m

    Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

  • E5
    The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
    Aired · Tue, Oct 21, 2003 · 30m

    Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.

  • E6
    Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
    Aired · Tue, Oct 28, 2003 · 30m

    The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.

  • E7
    If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
    Aired · Tue, Nov 4, 2003 · 30m

    Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

  • E8
    Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful
    Aired · Tue, Nov 11, 2003 · 30m

    Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.

  • E9
    Phase One, Complete
    Aired · Tue, Nov 18, 2003 · 30m

    Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.

  • E10
    Merry Thanksgiving
    Aired · Tue, Nov 25, 2003 · 30m

    When Charlie's favorite ex announces that she is going to get married Charlie attempts to win her back. Tensions arise at a family Thanksgiving.

  • E11
    Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
    Aired · Tue, Dec 16, 2003 · 30m

    When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.

  • E12
    Camel Filters + Pheromones
    Aired · Tue, Jan 6, 2004 · 30m

    Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.

  • E13
    Sarah Like Puny Alan
    Aired · Tue, Jan 13, 2004 · 30m

    Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.

  • E14
    I Can't Afford Hyenas
    Aired · Tue, Feb 3, 2004 · 30m

    Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.

  • E15
    Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick (1)
    Aired · Tue, Feb 10, 2004 · 30m

    Despite Alan's warning, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie that he meets at the garage.

  • E16
    That Was Saliva, Alan (2)
    Aired · Tue, Feb 17, 2004 · 30m

    Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.

  • E17
    Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
    Aired · Tue, Feb 24, 2004 · 30m

    Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.

  • E18
    An Old Flame with a New Wick
    Aired · Tue, Mar 2, 2004 · 30m

    One of Charlie's ex-girlfriends is now a man. It gets better: He starts dating Evelyn, who's clueless about his past history with her son.

  • E19
    I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
    Aired · Tue, Mar 23, 2004 · 30m

    Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.

  • E20
    Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
    Aired · Tue, Apr 20, 2004 · 30m

    Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.

  • E21
    No Sniffing, No Wowing
    Aired · Tue, May 4, 2004 · 30m

    Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.

  • E22
    My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
    Aired · Tue, May 11, 2004 · 30m

    When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.

  • E23
    Just Like Buffalo
    Aired · Tue, May 18, 2004 · 30m

    When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.

  • E24
    Can You Feel My Finger?
    Aired · Tue, May 25, 2004 · 30m

    Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.

Season 2
24 episodes · 24 aired
▾
  • E1
    Back Off, Mary Poppins
    Aired · Tue, Sep 21, 2004 · 30m

    When Alan discovers that Charlie is a member of an exclusive men's support group, he begs his brother to let him join.

  • E2
    Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
    Aired · Tue, Sep 28, 2004 · 30m

    Alan overzealously tries to push Judith's new relationship to the next level after Charlie mentions that he'll be off the hook for alimony if Judith remarries.

  • E3
    A Bag Full of Jawea
    Aired · Tue, Oct 5, 2004 · 30m

    Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension by romancing his teacher, with unfortunate results.

  • E4
    Go Get Mommy's Bra
    Aired · Tue, Oct 12, 2004 · 30m

    Charlie discovers that he made a big mistake when he lends Evelyn his Mercedes for a day in exchange for her hybrid car.

  • E5
    Bad News from the Clinic?
    Aired · Tue, Oct 19, 2004 · 30m

    Charlie falls head over heels for a woman who is better at playing hard to get than he is.

  • E6
    The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
    Aired · Tue, Oct 26, 2004 · 30m

    When Charlie confesses playing a nasty trick on Alan when they were younger, Alan's self image is turned upside down.

  • E7
    A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
    Aired · Tue, Nov 9, 2004 · 30m

    Charlie and Alan employ Berta's crazy sister to cater a party that Evelyn has cornered them into throwing for her.

  • E8
    Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
    Aired · Tue, Nov 16, 2004 · 30m

    Alan meets a woman at the supermarket who introduces him to the kind of fantastic sex life Charlie is accustomed to.

  • E9
    Yes, Monsignor
    Aired · Tue, Nov 23, 2004 · 30m

    Charlie's ex-girlfriend comes back into his life with a little more baggage than when she left.

  • E10
    The Salmon Under My Sweater
    Aired · Tue, Nov 30, 2004 · 30m

    Jake helps Charlie write a theme song for a new cartoon, and things heat up between Alan and Rose.

  • E11
    Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
    Aired · Tue, Dec 14, 2004 · 30m

    Charlie finds out that his promiscuous lifestyle has become the subject of an angry web site.

  • E12
    A Lung Full of Alan
    Aired · Tue, Jan 4, 2005 · 30m

    Alan's platonic high school girlfriend comes back into his life and creates contention between he and Charlie.

  • E13
    Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow
    Aired · Tue, Jan 18, 2005 · 30m

    When Judith's pipes burst due to an earthquake, Alan invites her to stay with him at Charlie's house.

  • E14
    Those Big Pink Things with Coconuts
    Aired · Tue, Feb 1, 2005 · 30m

    Evelyn takes drastic measures to get back into her sons' and grandson's lives after Alan forbids her to see Jake.

  • E15
    Smell the Umbrella Stand
    Aired · Tue, Feb 8, 2005 · 30m

    Charlie tries to take Alan and Jake to Las Vegas in order to distract Alan from an impending medical procedure.

  • E16
    Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
    Aired · Tue, Feb 15, 2005 · 30m

    An already stressed Alan is pushed to the limit when Judith leaves Jake with him while she goes on vacation.

  • E17
    Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
    Aired · Tue, Feb 22, 2005 · 30m

    After Charlie injures his back during sex, Alan takes him to the doctor.

  • E18
    It was 'Mame,' Mom
    Aired · Tue, Mar 8, 2005 · 30m

    Charlie makes Alan pose as his life partner at a business party thrown by a gay ad executive.

  • E19
    A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
    Aired · Tue, Mar 22, 2005 · 30m

    Alan goes on a date with one of Charlie's ex-girlfriends.

  • E20
    I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
    Aired · Tue, Apr 19, 2005 · 30m

    Unable to express the anger they have toward the women in their lives, Charlie and Alan take it out on each other.

  • E21
    A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
    Aired · Tue, May 3, 2005 · 30m

    Charlie, Alan and Jake accompany Evelyn to her second-husband's funeral.

  • E22
    That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
    Aired · Tue, May 10, 2005 · 30m

    Alan goes on a nightmarish blind date in order to repay a debt to his mother.

  • E23
    Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
    Aired · Tue, May 17, 2005 · 30m

    Alan reluctantly leaves Jake at Evelyn's for a sleepover and winds up partying with Charlie and a busload of beautiful female volleyball players.

  • E24
    Does This Smell Funny to You?
    Aired · Tue, May 24, 2005 · 30m

    Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an elderly man's hot young trophy wife.

Season 3
24 episodes · 24 aired
▾
  • E1
    Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
    Aired · Tue, Sep 20, 2005 · 30m

    After Alan falls off the roof trying to fix the satellite dish, Charlie volunteers to look after Jake for the weekend.

  • E2
    Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
    Aired · Tue, Sep 27, 2005 · 30m

    Charlie turns Alan's chiropractic office into a brothel while Alan tries to avoid offending a large-breasted woman.

  • E3
    Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
    Aired · Tue, Oct 4, 2005 · 30m

    Charlie organizes an intervention to keep Alan from reuniting with Judith.

  • E4
    Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
    Aired · Tue, Oct 11, 2005 · 30m

    Berta moves in for a few days and sets Charlie and Alan at each others' throats.

  • E5
    We Called It Mr. Pinky
    Aired · Tue, Oct 18, 2005 · 30m

    Bout of impotence causes Charlie to reexamine his feelings toward women.

  • E6
    Hi, Mr. Horned One
    Aired · Tue, Oct 25, 2005 · 30m

    Alan is convinced that Charlie's new girlfriend has put an evil curse on him.

  • E7
    Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
    Aired · Tue, Nov 8, 2005 · 30m

    Rose's father confronts Charlie about his intentions towards his daughter.

  • E8
    That Voodoo That I Do Do
    Aired · Tue, Nov 15, 2005 · 30m

    Charlie cons Jake into taking ballet lessons in order to get close to the teacher.

  • E9
    Madame and Her Special Friend
    Aired · Tue, Nov 22, 2005 · 30m

    Wealthy, elderly woman sets her sights on Alan.

  • E10
    Something Salted and Twisted
    Aired · Tue, Nov 29, 2005 · 30m

    Charlie helps Alan cope with his lifelong obsession to get women's approval.

  • E11
    Santa's Village of the Damned
    Aired · Tue, Dec 20, 2005 · 30m

    Alan dates a Martha Stewart-like woman who takes over the house during the Christmas holidays.

  • E12
    That Special Tug
    Aired · Tue, Jan 10, 2006 · 30m

    Alan's emotional breakdown sends Charlie into therapy.

  • E13
    Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
    Aired · Tue, Jan 24, 2006 · 30m

    Charlie must deal with the challenges of a committed relationship that is not based on sex.

  • E14
    Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
    Aired · Tue, Feb 7, 2006 · 30m

    Charlie plans the ultimate romantic evening with Mia, and Alan dates a much younger woman.

  • E15
    My Tongue Is Meat
    Aired · Tue, Feb 28, 2006 · 30m

    Charlie's lifestyle causes tension with Mia.

  • E16
    Ergo, the Booty Call
    Aired · Tue, Mar 7, 2006 · 30m

    Alan tries to avoid bringing his sexy 22-year-old girlfriend to Jake's birthday party.

  • E17
    The Unfortunate Little Schnauser
    Aired · Tue, Mar 14, 2006 · 30m

    Charlie is nominated for an advertising award against his arch nemesis who always wins.

  • E18
    The Spit-Covered Cobbler
    Aired · Tue, Mar 21, 2006 · 30m

    Alan becomes financially strapped when he starts paying his young girlfriend's bills.

  • E19
    Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
    Aired · Tue, Apr 11, 2006 · 30m

    Kandi moves in with Alan, causing tension in the house.

  • E20
    Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
    Aired · Tue, Apr 25, 2006 · 30m

    Charlie is sleeping with Kandi's mother as Alan tries to win Kandi back.

  • E21
    And the Plot Moistens
    Aired · Tue, May 2, 2006 · 30m

    Alan finds he has more in common with Jake's teacher than with Kandi.

  • E22
    Just Once with Aunt Sophie
    Aired · Tue, May 9, 2006 · 30m

    Charlie and Alan help Jake prepare for his first boy-girl party.

  • E23
    Arguments for the Quickie
    Aired · Tue, May 16, 2006 · 30m

    Charlie's ex-girlfriend, Mia, comes back in town with an unexpected request, which Charlie follows with an unexpected question of his own.

  • E24
    That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
    Aired · Tue, May 23, 2006 · 30m

    Charlie and Mia plan their wedding.

Season 4
24 episodes · 24 aired
▾
  • E1
    Working for Caligula
    Aired · Tue, Sep 19, 2006 · 30m

    Now that newlywed Alan has moved out, Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle.

  • E2
    Who's Vod Kanockers?
    Aired · Tue, Sep 26, 2006 · 30m

    Charlie finally tells Alan the truth about why he broke up with Mia, and a famous neighbor causes problems.

  • E3
    The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
    Aired · Tue, Oct 3, 2006 · 30m

    After nearly drowning, Charlie is convinced he saw his late father.

  • E4
    A Pot Smoking Monkey
    Aired · Tue, Oct 10, 2006 · 30m

    Alan and Kandi become embroiled in an unconventional custody battle.

  • E5
    A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
    Aired · Tue, Oct 17, 2006 · 30m

    Alan and Charlie bond with Judith's new fiancé in an effort to improve his relationship with Jake.

  • E6
    Apologies for the Frivolity
    Aired · Tue, Oct 24, 2006 · 30m

    Charlie cannot see that he's dating a younger version of his mother.

  • E7
    Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
    Aired · Tue, Nov 7, 2006 · 30m

    Charlie helps Berta confront the man who impregnated her daughter, while Alan indulges an unusual fetish.

  • E8
    Release the Dogs
    Aired · Tue, Nov 14, 2006 · 30m

    Alan seeks a cure for his insomnia, while Charlie pursues the mother of Jake's new girlfriend.

  • E9
    Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
    Aired · Tue, Nov 21, 2006 · 30m

    Ladies' man Charlie and tightwad Alan go on a double date, leaving Jake home alone for the first time.

  • E10
    Kissing Abraham Lincoln
    Aired · Tue, Nov 28, 2006 · 30m

    Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper, while Alan looks to sell Kandi's condo but sex keeps getting in the way.

  • E11
    Walnuts and Demerol
    Aired · Tue, Dec 12, 2006 · 30m

    Charlie finds himself throwing an unplanned, unwanted holiday party as Evelyn tries to keep him from bedding his date.

  • E12
    Castrating Sheep in Montana
    Aired · Tue, Jan 9, 2007 · 30m

    Berta discovers that Alan has been secretly dating her daughter.

  • E13
    Don't Worry, Speed Racer
    Aired · Tue, Jan 23, 2007 · 30m

    When Jake tells Charlie and Alan that he often overhears Judith and Herb having sex, it triggers a repressed memory for Charlie.

  • E14
    That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
    Aired · Tue, Feb 6, 2007 · 30m

    Charlie has second thoughts after setting Alan up with their hot new neighbor.

  • E15
    My Damn Stalker
    Aired · Tue, Feb 13, 2007 · 30m

    When Rose announces she is moving to London, Charlie must face his true feelings for her. Meanwhile, Alan tries online dating with unforeseen results.

  • E16
    Young People Have Phlegm Too
    Aired · Tue, Feb 20, 2007 · 30m

    Charlie tries to keep up with a much younger woman.

  • E17
    I Merely Slept with a Commie
    Aired · Tue, Feb 27, 2007 · 30m

    When Charlie and Alan tell Evelyn they don't think anyone would mourn at her funeral, she replaces them with unlikely surrogates.

  • E18
    It Never Rains in Hooterville
    Aired · Tue, Mar 20, 2007 · 30m

    Realizing Jake's childhood is almost over, Alan makes a last minute attempt at father-son bonding.

  • E19
    Smooth As a Ken Doll
    Aired · Tue, Apr 10, 2007 · 30m

    As Judith's and Herb's wedding nears, Charlie gets close to Herb's witty sister.

  • E20
    Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
    Aired · Tue, Apr 17, 2007 · 30m

    Alan prepares Jake for Judith's wedding, while Charlie continues his fling with Herb's sister, Myra,.

  • E21
    Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
    Aired · Tue, Apr 24, 2007 · 30m

    Alan befriends Greg, a gay single dad, causing Alan and Charlie to re-examine their own sexual identities. Meanwhile, Jake has a crush on Greg's daughter, Sophie. Jane Lynch also guest stars as Charlie's therapist.

  • E22
    Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
    Aired · Tue, May 1, 2007 · 30m

    Jake comes into a windfall when Charlie takes him to the track, and Alan is stuck in that special hell known as the Department of Motor Vehicles.

  • E23
    Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin
    Aired · Tue, May 8, 2007 · 30m

    Charlie loses a girl to a young, handsome handyman, who is working at his house.

  • E24
    Prostitutes and Gelato
    Aired · Tue, May 15, 2007 · 30m

    Charlie and Alan must confront their "daddy issues" when Evelyn's new boyfriend invites them to Vegas on his private jet.

Season 5
19 episodes · 19 aired
▾
  • E1
    Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
    Aired · Tue, Sep 25, 2007 · 30m

    Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of Junior High, but may wind up traumatizing him instead.

  • E2
    Media Room Slash Dungeon
    Aired · Tue, Oct 2, 2007 · 30m

    Charlie reacts oddly after an evening with his mother, and Alan's date reacts oddly after having sex with him.

  • E3
    Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
    Aired · Tue, Oct 9, 2007 · 30m

    Suffering from bimbo fatigue, Charlie lets Alan set him up with a woman his own age.

  • E4
    City of Great Racks
    Aired · Tue, Oct 16, 2007 · 30m

    Charlie gets closer to consummating his relationship with Linda, but begins to see Rose's face everywhere he turns.

  • E5
    Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
    Aired · Tue, Oct 23, 2007 · 30m

    Charlie has to find creative ways to entertain his girlfriend's 4-year-old son, while Alan becomes a human guinea pig.

  • E6
    Help Daddy Find His Toenail
    Aired · Tue, Oct 30, 2007 · 30m

    Charlie's girlfriend is embarrassed to be seen with him in public. Meanwhile, Jake sneaks out to a concert despite Alan's forbiddance.

  • E7
    Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
    Aired · Tue, Nov 6, 2007 · 30m

    Charlie and Alan butt heads over Alan's place in the house, prompting Alan and Jake to move in with Evelyn.

  • E8
    Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
    Aired · Tue, Nov 13, 2007 · 30m

    Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, which makes Alan miserable.

  • E9
    Tight's Good
    Aired · Tue, Nov 20, 2007 · 30m

    Charlie tries to resist his attraction to his soon-to-be step sister.

  • E10
    Kinda Like Necrophilia
    Aired · Tue, Nov 27, 2007 · 30m

    Alan seeks revenge when he discovers that Charlie stole his high school girlfriend.

  • E11
    Meander to Your Dander
    Aired · Tue, Mar 18, 2008 · 30m

    Charlie coaches Alan in the fine art of breaking up with a woman.

  • E12
    A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
    Aired · Tue, Mar 25, 2008 · 30m

    Rose is back from England and takes very strange care of a very sick Charlie.

  • E13
    The Soil Is Moist
    Aired · Tue, Apr 1, 2008 · 30m

    Alan dates one of his ex-wife's friends who reveals a secret about Judith's sex life.

  • E14
    Winky-Dink Time
    Aired · Tue, Apr 15, 2008 · 30m

    Charlie goes with Jake on a double date and sets Alan up with a prostitute.

  • E15
    Rough Night in Hump Junction
    Aired · Tue, Apr 22, 2008 · 30m

    Alan worries that Charlie's womanizing is out of control.

  • E16
    Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
    Aired · Tue, Apr 29, 2008 · 30m

    Alan plans Evelyn's wedding while Charlie pursues his future step-sister.

  • E17
    Fish in a Drawer
    Aired · Tue, May 6, 2008 · 30m

    The team from CSI investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house.

  • E18
    If My Hole Could Talk
    Aired · Tue, May 13, 2008 · 30m

    Charlie finds himself attracted to an older woman who writes self-help books, while Alan and Jake battle over a school assignment.

  • E19
    Waiting for the Right Snapper
    Aired · Tue, May 20, 2008 · 30m

    Charlie tries to resist temptation when he meets the grown daughter of the woman he's dating and realizes they've met before.

Season 6
24 episodes · 24 aired
▾
  • E1
    Taterhead Is Our Love Child
    Aired · Tue, Sep 23, 2008 · 30m

    Charlie encounters an ex whose son looks an awful lot like him.

  • E2
    Pie Hole, Herb
    Aired · Tue, Sep 30, 2008 · 30m

    Alan lends Charlie money and crosses a line in his attempts to get it back.

  • E3
    Damn You, Eggs Benedict
    Aired · Tue, Oct 7, 2008 · 30m

    Charlie tries cooking, Alan tries dating two women at the same time and Jake tries beer.

  • E4
    The Flavin' and the Mavin'
    Aired · Tue, Oct 14, 2008 · 30m

    Charlie romances Alan's sweet receptionist as Alan anxiously awaits disaster.

  • E5
    A Jock Strap in Hell
    Aired · Tue, Oct 21, 2008 · 30m

    The guys bump into Jake's former teacher who became a stripper after a fling with Charlie. Charlie tries to help her out by giving her a room and a job, but things spiral out of control.

  • E6
    It's Always Nazi Week
    Aired · Tue, Nov 4, 2008 · 30m

    When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking.

  • E7
    Best H.O. Money Can Buy
    Aired · Tue, Nov 11, 2008 · 30m

    Alan tries to escape Judith's grasp as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl.

  • E8
    Pinocchio's Mouth
    Aired · Tue, Nov 18, 2008 · 30m

    Charlie's new girlfriend asks him to spend the night at her place, while Alan tries to enforce a punishment on Jake.

  • E9
    The Mooch at the Boo
    Aired · Tue, Nov 25, 2008 · 30m

    Jake disappears with the daughter of Charlie's neighbor, a former NFL player, and Charlie is left to cover his back. Meanwhile, Alan scores a hot date with the help of Charlie's Mercedes.

  • E10
    He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
    Aired · Tue, Dec 9, 2008 · 30m

    Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, leaving Alan to wonder if he ever needs to work again.

  • E11
    The Devil's Lube
    Aired · Tue, Dec 16, 2008 · 30m

    One of Charlie's old partners in crime dies, leaving Charlie to reevaluate his own reckless lifestyle.

  • E12
    Thank God for Scoliosis
    Aired · Tue, Jan 13, 2009 · 30m

    Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress, while Alan fights sexual tension with his receptionist.

  • E13
    I Think You Offended Don
    Aired · Tue, Jan 20, 2009 · 30m

    Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced that he is the father. Meanwhile, Jake is in a contentious mood and Charlie thinks he knows why.

  • E14
    David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
    Aired · Tue, Feb 3, 2009 · 30m

    Convinced that Alan's family doesn't fully appreciate him, Melissa invites Alan to live with her and her mom.

  • E15
    I'd Like to Start with the Cat
    Aired · Tue, Feb 10, 2009 · 30m

    Charlie finds himself in couples counseling.

  • E16
    She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
    Aired · Tue, Mar 3, 2009 · 30m

    Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman from his bedroom before Chelsea arrives.

  • E17
    The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
    Aired · Tue, Mar 10, 2009 · 30m

    Charlie tells Chelsea that he loves her, but doesn't get the response he expects.

  • E18
    My Son's Enormous Head
    Aired · Tue, Mar 17, 2009 · 30m

    When Chelsea gets sick and Charlie has to take care of her, he must also fight the overwhelming urge to flee.

  • E19
    The Two Finger Rule
    Aired · Tue, Mar 31, 2009 · 30m

    Charlie joins Alan, Herb and his next door neighbor in a night of alcohol-fueled sexual reminiscences after Chelsea finds nude pictures of another woman on his phone.

  • E20
    Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
    Aired · Tue, Apr 14, 2009 · 30m

    Evelyn finally meets Chelsea and Charlie, and tries to prevent them from becoming friends.

  • E21
    Above Exalted Cyclops
    Aired · Tue, Apr 28, 2009 · 30m

    Chelsea sets Alan up on a blind date with her new friend. Rose.

  • E22
    Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
    Aired · Tue, May 5, 2009 · 30m

    Charlie reluctantly agrees to let Chelsea move in as he mourns the loss of his bachelor pad. Meanwhile, Alan finds that there's not much space left for him in the house.

  • E23
    Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
    Aired · Tue, May 12, 2009 · 30m

    Alan and Chelsea become best buds, and Charlie decides to take advantage of the situation.

  • E24
    Baseball with Better Steroids
    Aired · Tue, May 19, 2009 · 30m

    Charlie starts to question his relationship with Chelsea when he hears that Mia is back in town. Meanwhile, Judith goes into labor and Charlie, Alan and Herb rush her to the hospital.

Season 7
22 episodes · 22 aired
▾
  • E1
    818-jklpuzo
    Aired · Tue, Sep 22, 2009 · 30m

    Charlie must decide between his fiancée, Chelsea, and his old flame, Mia.

  • E2
    Whipped Unto the Third Generation
    Aired · Tue, Sep 29, 2009 · 30m

    When Charlie's fiancée, Chelsea, convinces him to let Melissa, Alan's girlfriend, move in, the girls take over the house.

  • E3
    Mmm, Fish. Yum.
    Aired · Tue, Oct 6, 2009 · 30m

    Alan plays nursemaid to Judith's baby and her tipsy mother. Meanwhile, Jake blackmails Charlie with an incriminating photo.

  • E4
    Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
    Aired · Tue, Oct 13, 2009 · 30m

    Alan takes a job working for Evelyn, and Charlie is forced to mend Chelsea and Jake's rocky relationship.

  • E5
    For the Sake of the Child
    Aired · Tue, Oct 20, 2009 · 30m

    Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan after they embarrass him in public.

  • E6
    Give Me Your Thumb
    Aired · Tue, Nov 3, 2009 · 30m

    Alan recommends that Chelsea get breast reduction surgery and Charlie kicks him out.

  • E7
    Untainted by Filth
    Aired · Tue, Nov 10, 2009 · 30m

    Charlie and Alan wake up together in bed with a strange woman.

  • E8
    Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
    Aired · Tue, Nov 17, 2009 · 30m

    Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house while she gets over a bad breakup.

  • E9
    Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
    Aired · Tue, Nov 24, 2009 · 30m

    Charlie is crushed when he discovers he hasn't been satisfying Chelsea and Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair on the cheap.

  • E10
    That's Why They Call It Ball Room
    Aired · Tue, Dec 8, 2009 · 30m

    Charlie discovers that Chelsea hasn't been completely honest about her finances.

  • E11
    Warning, It's Dirty
    Aired · Tue, Dec 15, 2009 · 30m

    Charlie coaches Jake on the art of infidelity while his girlfriend is away for Christmas.

  • E12
    Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
    Aired · Tue, Jan 12, 2010 · 30m

    Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend, and Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith's watchful eye.

  • E13
    Yay, No Polyps!
    Aired · Tue, Jan 19, 2010 · 30m

    Charlie endures a colonoscopy to get out of a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents, only to return home and find them in his living room.

  • E14
    Crude and Uncalled For
    Aired · Tue, Feb 2, 2010 · 30m

    Alan ends up in jail after a bar fight, and Charlie worries that Chelsea might be interested in the lawyer who takes the case.

  • E15
    Aye, Aye, Captain
    Aired · Tue, Feb 9, 2010 · 30m

    Charlie's jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea.

  • E16
    Tinkle Like a Princess
    Aired · Tue, Mar 2, 2010 · 30m

    Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife, but she's not Chelsea.

  • E17
    I Found Your Moustache
    Aired · Tue, Mar 9, 2010 · 30m

    Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.

  • E18
    Ixnay on the Oggie Day
    Aired · Tue, Mar 23, 2010 · 30m

    Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.

  • E19
    Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
    Aired · Tue, Apr 13, 2010 · 30m

    Jake's new friend, Eldridge, is a bad influence but Alan really likes his hot mom.

  • E20
    I Called Him Magoo
    Aired · Tue, May 11, 2010 · 30m

    Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend, while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience".

  • E21
    Gumby with a Pokey
    Aired · Tue, May 18, 2010 · 30m

    Alan and Jake go on a road trip while Charlie is visited by the ghosts of girlfriends past.

  • E22
    This Is Not Gonna End Well
    Aired · Tue, May 25, 2010 · 30m

    Jake becomes Charlie's driver after Charlie has his license suspended, and to Charlie's chagrin, Alan makes plans to attend Chelsea's birthday party,.

Season 8
16 episodes · 16 aired
▾
  • E1
    Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
    Aired · Tue, Sep 21, 2010 · 30m

    When Jake finds out that Alan has been dating Eldridge's mom, he packs up and heads to Judith and Herb's. Meanwhile, Charlie decides it's time to cut back on boozing.

  • E2
    A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
    Aired · Tue, Sep 28, 2010 · 30m

    When Lindsey asks Alan to move in with her, Charlie will do anything to get Alan to say "yes".

  • E3
    A Pudding-Filled Cactus
    Aired · Tue, Oct 5, 2010 · 30m

    Alan moves in with Lyndsey but continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.

  • E4
    Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
    Aired · Tue, Oct 12, 2010 · 30m

    Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after Alan burns down their home.

  • E5
    The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
    Aired · Tue, Oct 19, 2010 · 30m

    Alan goes out on the town pretending to be Charlie, while Charlie sneaks off for some cosmetic surgery.

  • E6
    Twanging Your Magic Clanger
    Aired · Tue, Oct 26, 2010 · 30m

    Charlie has trouble adjusting to dating a slightly older woman.

  • E7
    The Crazy Bitch Gazette
    Aired · Tue, Nov 2, 2010 · 30m

    Charlie's past comes back to bite him when his girlfriend decides that his stalker, Rose, is just too much to handle.

  • E8
    Springtime on a Stick
    Aired · Tue, Nov 9, 2010 · 30m

    Charlie and Alan try to set up Evelyn with Russell, the pharmacist.

  • E9
    A Good Time in Central Africa
    Aired · Tue, Nov 16, 2010 · 30m

    When Berta takes a couple of days off, Charlie falls for her replacement. Meanwhile, Alan believes he's being stalked by Lyndsey's ex-husband.

  • E10
    Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
    Aired · Tue, Nov 23, 2010 · 30m

    Charlie goes on a spending spree for his old fling, Courtney, who shows up after three years in prison for conning him out of money.

  • E11
    Dead from the Waist Down
    Aired · Tue, Dec 7, 2010 · 30m

    Alan is ashamed that he can't afford to buy Lyndsey a birthday present, so he gets creative.

  • E12
    Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
    Aired · Tue, Dec 14, 2010 · 30m

    When Charlie and Courtney break up, Charlie falls into a depression and goes to see his psychiatrist.

  • E13
    Skunk, Dog, Crap and Ketchup
    Aired · Tue, Jan 4, 2011 · 30m

    When Charlie and Lyndsey start becoming friendly, Alan's paranoia gets the best of him.

  • E14
    Lookin' for Japanese Subs
    Aired · Tue, Jan 18, 2011 · 30m

    Charlie's obsession with the newly "married" Rose leads him to stalk her. Meanwhile, Alan grows concerned when Jake and Eldridge start videotaping stupid and extremely dangerous stunts.

  • E15
    Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
    Aired · Tue, Feb 8, 2011 · 30m

    While Charlie and Rose carry on their "affair," Alan's chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme.

  • E16
    That Darn Priest
    Aired · Tue, Feb 15, 2011 · 30m

    Rose uncovers Alan's Ponzi scheme and Alan, in turn, meets "Manny," Rose's mannequin "husband." Meanwhile, Charlie is eager to get some alone time with Rose.

Season 9
24 episodes · 24 aired
▾
  • E1
    Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
    Aired · Tue, Sep 20, 2011 · 30m

    Ashton Kutcher joins the cast as Walden Schmidt, an internet billionaire with a broken heart.

  • E2
    People Who Love Peepholes
    Aired · Tue, Sep 27, 2011 · 30m

    Judy Greer is introduced as Bridget, Walden's ex-wife.

  • E3
    Big Girls Don't Throw Food
    Aired · Tue, Oct 4, 2011 · 30m

    Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school.

  • E4
    Nine Magic Fingers
    Aired · Tue, Oct 11, 2011 · 30m

    Trying to rebound from his recent separation, Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right, while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with Lyndsey.

  • E5
    A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
    Aired · Tue, Oct 18, 2011 · 30m

    Alan struggles to come to terms with Lyndsey's risque movie past, and Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party at the house.

  • E6
    The Squat and the Hover
    Aired · Tue, Oct 25, 2011 · 30m

    Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her.

  • E7
    Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
    Aired · Tue, Nov 1, 2011 · 30m

    Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor, who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.

  • E8
    Thank You for the Intercourse
    Aired · Tue, Nov 8, 2011 · 30m

    When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional.

  • E9
    Frodo's Headshots
    Aired · Tue, Nov 15, 2011 · 30m

    Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope.

  • E10
    A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
    Aired · Tue, Nov 22, 2011 · 30m

    Walden hits it off with a British babe, but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world.

  • E11
    What a Lovely Landing Strip
    Aired · Tue, Dec 6, 2011 · 30m

    Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest when Bridget reappears in his life.

  • E12
    One False Move, Zimbabwe!
    Aired · Tue, Dec 13, 2011 · 30m

    Walden's mother arrives and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.

  • E13
    Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
    Aired · Tue, Jan 3, 2012 · 30m

    When Walden's ex-wife and his mother try to take control of his company, he tries to enlist Alan as an ally.

  • E14
    A Possum on Chemo
    Aired · Tue, Jan 17, 2012 · 30m

    Zoey tries to coerce Walden into cutting his hair and shaving. Meanwhile, Alan and Lyndsey rekindle their relationship.

  • E15
    The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
    Aired · Tue, Feb 7, 2012 · 30m

    Walden tries to loosen up Zoey by sharing a couple of Berta's special brownies.

  • E16
    Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
    Aired · Tue, Feb 14, 2012 · 30m

    Strained relationships and girl-fighting result when a huge storm traps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lyndsey in the house on Valentine's Day.

  • E17
    Not in My Mouth!
    Aired · Tue, Feb 21, 2012 · 30m

    Walden and Zoey's relationship suffers after they share a near-death experience. Meanwhile, Alan wonders if Lyndsey has a drinking problem.

  • E18
    The War Against Gingivitis
    Aired · Tue, Feb 28, 2012 · 30m

    Things get tense in the Malibu house when Walden's estranged ex-business partner shows up looking to bury the hatchet.

  • E19
    Palmdale, Ech
    Aired · Tue, Mar 20, 2012 · 30m

    Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers to one another. Meanwhile, Jake and Eldridge enlist Walden to drive them to a high school party.

  • E20
    Grandma's Pie
    Aired · Tue, Apr 10, 2012 · 30m

    Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Meanwhile, Alan and Lyndsey try to come to terms with their moms' new relationship.

  • E21
    Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
    Aired · Tue, Apr 17, 2012 · 30m

    Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey.

  • E22
    Why We Gave Up Women
    Aired · Tue, May 1, 2012 · 30m

    After Alan suffers a minor heart attack, Charlie's ghost pays a visit to his hospital bedside.

  • E23
    The Straw in My Donut Hole
    Aired · Tue, May 8, 2012 · 30m

    Alan is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital, but Zoey isn't so sure it's deserved.

  • E24
    Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
    Aired · Tue, May 15, 2012 · 30m

    Jake is pressured to make a decision about his future.

Season 10
23 episodes · 23 aired
▾
  • E1
    I Changed My Mind About the Milk
    Aired · Fri, Sep 28, 2012 · 30m

    Walden plans a big surprise for Zoey's birthday.

  • E2
    A Big Bag of Dog
    Aired · Fri, Oct 5, 2012 · 30m

    Following his break-up with Zoey, Walden has a breakdown.

  • E3
    Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
    Aired · Fri, Oct 12, 2012 · 30m

    Alan and Lyndsey decide to spice things up in the bedroom.

  • E4
    You Do Know What the Lollipop's For
    Aired · Fri, Oct 19, 2012 · 30m

    Walden starts to feel his age when a friend's daughter comes to town.

  • E5
    That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
    Aired · Fri, Oct 26, 2012 · 30m

    Despite Alan's warnings, Walden starts dating Rose.

  • E6
    Ferrets, Attack!
    Aired · Fri, Nov 2, 2012 · 30m

    Walden has to choose between Rose and Zoey.

  • E7
    Avoid the Chinese Mustard
    Aired · Fri, Nov 9, 2012 · 30m

    Tired of the complications of a traditional relationship, Walden hires an actress to play the part of his girlfriend. Meanwhile, Jake and Missi plan a rendezvous at the beach house.

  • E8
    Something My Gynecologist Said
    Aired · Fri, Nov 16, 2012 · 30m

    Alan is hesitant to make a serious commitment to Lyndsey but gets inspiration from an unlikely source. Meanwhile, Walden enjoys being a boy-toy for a rich older woman.

  • E9
    I Scream When I Pee
    Aired · Fri, Nov 30, 2012 · 30m

    Alan's smokin' hot, famous ex-wife, Kandi, wants him back. Meanwhile, Berta isn't interested in celebrating her birthday, so Walden helps make it special.

  • E10
    One Nut Johnson
    Aired · Fri, Dec 7, 2012 · 30m

    Alan helps Walden create a new identity in order to find a woman who isn't just after his money.

  • E11
    Give Santa a Tail-Hole
    Aired · Fri, Dec 14, 2012 · 30m

    Walden juggles having two identities - rich man and poor man - and Alan finds himself alone at Christmas.

  • E12
    Welcome to Alancrest
    Aired · Fri, Jan 4, 2013 · 30m

    Using Walden's money, Alan invests in Kate's fashion line. Meanwhile, leading a double life starts to take its toll on Walden.

  • E13
    Grab a Feather and Get in Line
    Aired · Fri, Jan 11, 2013 · 30m

    Walden and Alan go to Kate's fashion show in New York so Walden can tell her the truth about his identity.

  • E14
    Run, Steven Staven! Run!
    Aired · Fri, Feb 1, 2013 · 30m

    Alan and Lyndsey's relationship is strained when he won't give her a key to the beach house. Meanwhile, Walden, Alan, Billy and Herb commiserate about women and relationships.

  • E15
    Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
    Aired · Fri, Feb 8, 2013 · 30m

    Alan has concerns when Jake brings his 36-year-old girlfriend home for a visit. Meanwhile, Walden tries to keep a secret from Alan.

  • E16
    Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
    Aired · Fri, Feb 15, 2013 · 30m

    Walden, depressed about being single on Valentine's Day, tries to convince Kate to give him another chance. Meanwhile, Alan's Valentine's Day plans take a turn for the worse.

  • E17
    Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
    Aired · Fri, Feb 22, 2013 · 30m

    When Walden runs into his ex-wife at a high-end singles mixer and they talk about getting back together, Alan worries that she's not good for Walden.

  • E18
    The 9:04 from Pemberton
    Aired · Fri, Mar 8, 2013 · 30m

    Following a fight with Walden, Alan moves in with Herb.

  • E19
    Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon
    Aired · Fri, Mar 15, 2013 · 30m

    Walden and Alan try to cheer up a lonely Herb, but end up partying a little too hard.

  • E20
    Bazinga! That's from a TV Show
    Aired · Fri, Apr 5, 2013 · 30m

    When Jake cheats on his girlfriend with her 18-year-old daughter, Alan and Walden get caught in the crossfire.

  • E21
    Another Night with Neil Diamond
    Aired · Fri, Apr 26, 2013 · 30m

    Alan has trouble coping when Lyndsey dumps him and Walden must find a way to help him get back on his feet.

  • E22
    My Bodacious Vidalia
    Aired · Fri, May 3, 2013 · 30m

    When Walden encourages a depressed Alan to update his look and start dating again, Alan faces a moral dilemma when he attracts a married woman.

  • E23
    Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
    Aired · Fri, May 10, 2013 · 30m

    Walden dates a hot 22-year-old woman, but finds himself more attracted to her worldly grandmother. Meanwhile, Alan and Jake go on a father-son bonding trip.

Season 11
22 episodes · 22 aired
▾
  • E1
    Nangnangnangnang
    Aired · Fri, Sep 27, 2013 · 30m

    Alan is shocked when Charlie's 25-year-old daughter shows up at Walden's beach house to connect with what's left of her family, and who happens to like everything her dad liked - including women.

  • E2
    I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
    Aired · Fri, Oct 4, 2013 · 30m

    When Walden feels cramped in his own house, Jenny moves in with Evelyn and her boyfriend, Marty. Meanwhile, Alan becomes Lyndsey's "other man".

  • E3
    This Unblessed Biscuit
    Aired · Fri, Oct 11, 2013 · 30m

    Walden and Alan think it may be time for Berta to retire when she injures her back at work.

  • E4
    Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
    Aired · Fri, Oct 18, 2013 · 30m

    Walden starts partying with Jenny and her hot friends. Meanwhile, Alan and Lyndsey's illicit affair is jeopardized.

  • E5
    Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
    Aired · Fri, Oct 25, 2013 · 30m

    Alan befriends Lyndsey's boyfriend in an effort to find out what he has that Alan doesn't. Meanwhile, Walden helps Jenny be more proactive in pursuing her acting career.

  • E6
    Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
    Aired · Fri, Nov 8, 2013 · 30m

    When Alan learns Walden knows Lynda Carter, he asks him to set him up on a date with her. Against his better judgment, Walden agrees to invite her to the house for dinner.

  • E7
    Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
    Aired · Fri, Nov 15, 2013 · 30m

    Walden and Alan find themselves on dates with two ideal women until Lyndsey's jealousy throws a wrench in their evening.

  • E8
    Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
    Aired · Fri, Nov 22, 2013 · 30m

    Alan and Lyndsey's illicit affair puts Walden in danger, forcing him to accept Rose's help.

  • E9
    Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
    Aired · Fri, Dec 6, 2013 · 30m

    Walden's date with an accident-prone model goes longer than expected. Meanwhile, Alan dates a woman who shares some surprising personal information with him.

  • E10
    On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
    Aired · Fri, Dec 13, 2013 · 30m

    Walden helps Jenny get a second date with a one-night stand and Alan's transgender girlfriend's ex-wife hits on him. Meanwhile, in the spirit of the holidays, Alan receives a Japanese delicacy from Jake for Christmas, and Walden's Malibu house is alive with questionable Christmas carol lyrics.

  • E11
    Tazed in the Lady Nuts
    Aired · Fri, Jan 3, 2014 · 30m

    Walden joins his beautiful former employee on a brilliant new project. Meanwhile, Alan advises Jenny to open up to her girlfriend or risk losing her.

  • E12
    Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
    Aired · Fri, Jan 10, 2014 · 30m

    Alan lets Lyndsey's boyfriend Larry set him up on a date. Meanwhile, Walden offers to help Nicole with her software project so she'll have time to date him.

  • E13
    Bite Me, Supreme Court
    Aired · Fri, Jan 31, 2014 · 30m

    After Marty proposes to Evelyn, Walden and Alan throw him a bachelor party with several of his old friends.

  • E14
    Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe
    Aired · Fri, Feb 7, 2014 · 30m

    Alan learns that Lyndsey broke up with Larry and didn't tell him. Meanwhile, Walden sets out to prove that he's a man's man.

  • E15
    Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
    Aired · Fri, Feb 28, 2014 · 30m

    Alan gives Lyndsey the option of choosing between him and Larry. Meanwhile, Jenny fears she and Brooke are growing apart.

  • E16
    How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
    Aired · Fri, Mar 7, 2014 · 30m

    "How To Get Rid of Alan Harper"- Walden suspects his new girlfriend is cheating on him. Meanwhile, Alan gets even more intertwined in Lyndsey and Larry's relationship when he starts dating Larry's sister, Gretchen.

  • E17
    Welcome Home, Jake
    Aired · Fri, Mar 14, 2014 · 30m

    Lyndsey discovers that Alan is sleeping with Larry's sister, Gretchen. Meanwhile, Walden struggles with telling Barry to find his own place.

  • E18
    West Side Story
    Aired · Fri, Apr 4, 2014 · 30m

    Walden gets an invitation to his ex-girlfriend's boutique opening. Meanwhile, Gretchen wants to spend more time at Alan's house.

  • E19
    Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
    Aired · Fri, Apr 11, 2014 · 30m

    Walden reconnects with Kate and is sure she's "The One" - that is, until he meets Vivian and becomes convinced she's "The One." Meanwhile, Alan and Gretchen grow closer.

  • E20
    Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
    Aired · Fri, Apr 25, 2014 · 30m

    Alan stumbles upon an opportunity to make money. Meanwhile, Walden has to address his co-dependency issues.

  • E21
    Dial 1-900-Mix-a-Lot
    Aired · Fri, May 2, 2014 · 30m

    Alan's girlfriend, Gretchen, insists he confess his true identity to Larry. Meanwhile, Walden goes on a road trip with Jenny and Barry to see his first car.

  • E22
    Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
    Aired · Fri, May 9, 2014 · 30m

    Alan confesses his true identity to Larry and has to face the consequences.

Season 12
16 episodes · 16 aired
▾
  • E1
    The Ol' Mexican Spinach
    Aired · Fri, Oct 31, 2014 · 30m

    Following a health scare on Halloween, Walden decides to reprioritize his life with Alan's help.

  • E2
    A Chic Bar in Ibiza
    Aired · Fri, Nov 7, 2014 · 30m

    When Walden asks Alan to sign a pre-nup, Alan gets offended and has second thoughts about getting married.

  • E3
    Glamping in a Yurt
    Aired · Fri, Nov 14, 2014 · 30m

    Alan and Walden have a meeting with an adoption social worker that hinges on them being convincing as a loving couple. Meanwhile, Lyndsey returns after 60 days in rehab.

  • E4
    Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
    Aired · Fri, Nov 21, 2014 · 30m

    Walden and Alan meet a birth mother who's considering them to adopt her baby.

  • E5
    Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
    Aired · Fri, Nov 28, 2014 · 30m

    Walden decides to foster a 6-year-old boy, but begins to doubt himself when they don't bond like he expected.

  • E6
    Alan Shot a Little Girl
    Aired · Fri, Dec 5, 2014 · 30m

    When Alan realizes Louis thinks he's cool, he starts breaking Walden's rules in order to stay that way.

  • E7
    Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
    Aired · Fri, Dec 12, 2014 · 30m

    Alan and Walden befriend three moms at a kids' gym, but things get complicated when Walden becomes attracted to one of them. Meanwhile, Alan goes out for a girls' night with a group of moms.

  • E8
    Family, Bublé, Deep-fried Turkey
    Aired · Fri, Dec 19, 2014 · 30m

    Walden and Alan are determined to convince Louis that Santa Claus is real.

  • E9
    Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
    Aired · Fri, Jan 9, 2015 · 30m

    Walden discovers how challenging it is to be intimate with women when his foster son, Louis, is in the house. Also, Herb asks Alan if he can go on a date with Lyndsey.

  • E10
    Here I Come, Pants!
    Aired · Fri, Jan 16, 2015 · 30m

    Alan takes it upon himself to help Walden keep Louis after the social worker discovers he and Walden are not really a gay couple.

  • E11
    For Whom the Booty Calls
    Aired · Fri, Jan 23, 2015 · 30m

    Walden joins a group for adoptive fathers, and finds it to be a nice escape from Alan.

  • E12
    A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
    Aired · Fri, Jan 30, 2015 · 30m

    When Alan breaks up with their social worker to get back together with Lyndsey, Walden worries it will affect Louis' adoption.

  • E13
    Boompa Loved His Hookers
    Aired · Fri, Feb 6, 2015 · 30m

    Walden fears if he breaks up with Ms. McMartin, it will jeopardize his adoption of Louis. Also, Alan hesitates when Lyndsey asks him to move in with her.

  • E14
    Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
    Aired · Fri, Feb 13, 2015 · 30m

    After they sign their divorce papers, Walden offers Alan the gift of his choice, but when Alan chooses something selfish and impractical, it puts his relationship with Lyndsey on the line.

  • E15
    Of Course He's Dead - Part One
    Aired · Fri, Feb 20, 2015 · 30m

    Charlie Harper is alive. Or is he?

  • E16
    Of Course He's Dead - Part Two
    Aired · Fri, Feb 20, 2015 · 30m

    The series finale recalls the life—and presumed death—of Charlie Harper.