Crank Yankers

A turd in Gladys' car; Elmer needs an apt; Batman's Nemesis needs information; Special Ed books a trip; Birchum wants a job.

Blind stripper Cammie wants to join a strip club but is denied. Spoonie Luv(From Up Above) wants to send flowers and asks for inappropriate things to be written on the card. Denis Leary's friend's pet is a problem pet. And Special Ed's got mail and finds out he's got lower standerds because he uses "I Got Mail".

Shavin books a room for the Wu-Tang Clan; Hadassah applies for a nanny job; Rob helps a friend in need; Elmer finds a surprise in his dinner.

Spoonie calls a country club for tee time but they don't have tee time. Niles needs a healthcare giver. And Elmer needs some hearing aids.

Bobby seeks out a job. Cammie needs computer help. Birtchum loses a fake leg. And Danny is sick.

Niles wants invitations for an ass slaping contest. Tony Deloge wants votes. Helen's son gives her a foul mouthed parrot. And Bobby tries to sign up to be a consulor to help kids on drugs. Also starring The Touchtone Terrorists.

Hadassah calls with a survey; Spoonie pitches greeting cards; Sal Macauley plays The Phone Zone; Bobby suffers a loss; Ween performs.

Spoonie wants hot girls. Helen calls a grocery store. OCD Ken wants love. And Terrence calls Subway.

Karl Malone wants Beanie Babies. Danny calls a caterer. Elmer lodges a complaint to the cable company about what he saw on TV. Birchum calls for a moving company. And Haddassah calls the Department of Waste.

Spoonie orders flowers. Gene Winterbuck makes a call to a library. Haddassah catches crabs. And someone took a pee on Elmer's house.

Elmer needs a gift for his wife so he buys anal beads. Special Ed wants to buy a CD with a certain song on it.

Spoon Love needs karate lessons before he goes back to jail. Gladys finds a pornography cassette of her sons.

Guest star Snoop Dogg calls to run for public office. And Haddassah gets harassed by a salesperson.

George Zucco has swelling testicles. And Bobby hits an innocent bystander then shoots him.

Hadassah has a perfume rash on her vagina. OCD Ken gets "trapped" in a bathroom and needs someone to repeatedly hit the pound key. And Special Ed calls a farm to tell them knock knock jokes but just pisses one of the farmers off.

Gladys' kids super glue her butt to a toilet seat. Steven calls a talent agency and only does Bobcat Goldthwait impressions.

A blind Stripper applies for college. Birchum wants to get swimming lessons for his conjoined kids at the YMCA.

Bobby Fletcher calls a country store to complain about expired grape soda that keeps making him belch. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew Pinsky talk hip-hop.

Elmer calls about a gay cruise.

Hadassah Calls a Landfill, Chip calls a hardware store, Kevin and Katie call a bowling alley, Spoonie Needs Driving Lessons, Niles Standish wants a balloon ride, Niles Standish wants a balloon ride, Helen Higgins Calls an Art School, Bobby Fletcher wants to join the Peace Corps.

Special Ed goes out to the ballgame; a sleazy professor calls a co-ed.

Gladys Murphy calls volunteering for conjugal visits, Elmer needs a dentist, Bobby Fletcher wants a new best friend, Dr. Premise can't speak, Niles Standish is getting married, Ken is stuck in the restroom.

Hadassah tests her boyfriend's sperm; Jeff needs a job.

Bobby Fletcher needs a loan, Elmer can't get out of his bed, Niles Standish needs a new suit, Arthur Johnson gets even, Ken calls a pharmacy, George Zucco Plans a family event.

Terence Catheter calls looking for a stalker for his client George Wendt, Tony Deloge is trying to get a free meal, Birchum's Uncle died, Cammie's been having encounters with the paranormal, A store manager calls a retirement home, Ed calls a library.

Elmer is having technical problems, Adam and Dr. Drew make a best of show for the holidays, Larson calls about a house sitting, George Zucco wants to rent a tape, Agent Tierney issues an odd citation, Adam and Dr. Drew reach out to their listeners, Gladys calls a store.

Birchum needs kids to work around the house, Cammie wants a deal on a rental car, Special Ed likes Donkey Kong, Helen Higgins calls about a film she dropped off, Jeff calls looking for a toy, Concierge gives wake up calls to random hotel room, Danny needs an engagement ring.

Elmer checks his lucky numbers, Dr. Mark Premise looks for love, Birchum applies for a job, Dick Rodgers has a personal revelation, Kevin & Katie call a Butcher Shop, Gladys has some concerns about her son, and Tony Deloge books a speaking engagement,

Niles Standish calls about a new hobby, Samir is throwing a party, Clay calls looking for a gift for his girlfriend, Terence needs a new pair of boots for Hall and Oates, Cammie calls a Gynecologist's office.

Sonny calls delivering a singing phone-a-gram, Katie wants a credit card, Bobby Fletcher calls a retirement home looking for acting talent, Asha gets an unexpected delivery, Elmer plans a reunion., Maria calls about getting some plastic surgery for her 11 year old daughter, Ed calls a man asking if he knows any special people.

Bobby and Billy Fletcher call to make a reservation at a restaurant and Hadassah receives a sexually suggestive toy from her mother.

Bobby needs a locksmith, Gladys calls a breast feeding expert, Terrence needs help with his new boss, Ken calls wanting to hire a bodyguard, Cammie teaches teens about Sex, Ray needs some language lessons.

Birchum calls a Private Investigator,Wally Calls an Exterminator, Stompie Wants to have fun, Hadassah gets a new job.

Niles calls with a complaint, Jack wants to buy a used car, Gladys wrestles with doing the right thing, Kevin wants a new playmate, Theo calls hoping to adopt some kittens.

Tobias gives a free reading, Jim bugs a Pizza Place, Chip fights racism, Ed needs piano lessons, Elmer has a Birthday, and The Truth wants to be a Sportscaster.

Jeff plans a surprise party and Cammie asks for advice on how to date a Jewish man.

Birchum makes Funeral arrangements, Marcia wants to enroll her son in Pre-School, Gene wants to get in shape, Elmer calls with a safety concern, Travis needs some clothes for his Wife, and Ezekiel Magoo takes a stand.

Gladys develops a negative attitude, Katie wants a job at a Grocery Store, Tobias predicts the future, Niles needs a Dentist, Bobby needs a new job, Foreign guy books a Cruise, Vote for Tony Deloge, and a Prank Call Blooper.

Ken calls a paper with breaking news, Tab wants to hypnotize his Grandmother, Hadassah's having a Baby, Ed calls a Restaurant, Cammie wants to learn magic, and Terrence wants to buy some dolls for Demie.

Katie's having a party, Terrence is looking for new artwork, Sonny Tanning delivers a singing Phone-O-Gram, Birchum needs some able bodies, Chip Le Las Comiquitas, Bobby wants to lose some weight, and Hadassah desperately needs a Plumber.

Ludacris proposes a new name for himself, and Robert apologizes to a hotel he's wronged.

Terrence casts for a Spike Lee reality show, and Niles needs help with his race experiment.

Birchum attempts to sell his war mementos, and Lloyd reserves a tee time.

The Truth needs a private investigator, and Birchum applies to be a bounty hunter.

Niles Standish recruits for his own NBA franchise, and Hadassah needs maternity clothes.

Special Ed makes a scientific discovery, and The Nemesis tracks down Lois Lane.

Terrence plans a prank for Johnny Knoxville, and Bobby finds a human head.

Hadassah interviews an NFL quarterback for a teen magazine, and Ludacris needs some security.

Hadassah buys the wrong handbag, and Special Ed and his friend Special Eminem try to go bowling.

The Chief buys a broken dreamcatcher, and Jack Osbourne asks his mom for help.

Cammie shops for a sturdy mattress, and Professor Fermstein pitches his lecture to a sorority.

Murray complains about a traumatic restaurant experience, and Hadassah needs cooking advice on a special night.

Special Ed wants to join Alcoholics Anonymous, and Spoonie Luv learns a little about peaches.

The Truth asks Jessica Simpson to play a charity tournament, and Crazy Yitzhak offers insane deals.

Cammie needs sexy video editing, and Terrence pitches a spokesperson gig to Michael Strahan.

Birchum has an insect problem, and Spoonie Luv promotes his homemade porn videos.

Lou interviews a potential house sitter, and Elmer loses his pacemaker at a bus station.

Spoonie Luv consults a bail bondsman, and The Concierge needs help with a rodent.

The Concierge charges a guest for incidentals, and Elmer wants someone to break in his mattress.

Lil Jon looks to hire a harpist for his tour, and Hadassah tries to recover her half-full juice from the mall.

Steve-O wants to set a world record in skydiving, and Mark Thomas reports a computer virus.

Chamillionaire is threatened with legal action by the lawyer of "Chabillionaire," and Maverick complains about the outcome of a fish fight.

Dr. Premise looks for an assistant to help him with scientific experiments, and Hadassah tries to find something to do in Arlington.

Francis orders some insulting customized trophies for his basketball team, and Elmer is upset at the sight of a bus driven by a woman.

Terrence calls a Catholic Church on behalf of Paris Hilton, and Wayne McClammy has a lengthy request for a tattoo parlor.

Taylor from "The Real World" calls up a medieval theme restaurant, and Sav Macaulay hosts a game show over the phone.

Nick Cannon tries to sell a car that someone might have been murdered in, and Birchum tries to enroll his conjoined daughters in a gymnastics class.

Spoonie Luv's sex life gets ruined by birds, Birchum pesters a yoga studio, and an aspiring job applicant (Chelsea Peretti) brags about her stunning looks.

Shasta calls neighborhood watch on a white guy, a vape shop fields a complaint from Dr. Penis, and Elmer is thrilled with his new adult diapers.

Bobby tries a matchmaking service, Nikki Glaser calls a restaurant about an unusual allergy, and Hadassah lists her demands for a prospective employer.

Landalious "The Truth" Truefeld makes a career change, Elmer calls a party store looking for balloons, and Spoonie Luv gets thrown for a loop.

A haunted hotel gets a call from an interested guest, Hadassah wants a no-touch massage, and a woman plans to perform Wiccan rituals at a lumberyard.

An angry girlfriend calls a hat shop to complain about her boyfriend's fedora, The Truth wants to set up a book signing, and Niles Standish has to get rid of some lice.

A woman is furious about her boyfriend's obsession with "Red Dead Redemption," a wannabe performer calls an acting school, and Terrence tries to plan Paris Hilton's wedding.

A rich bro tries to get a new festival off the ground, Spoonie Luv wants to purchase the perfect mattress, and Gladys needs help from a psychic.

Bobby wants a pizza delivery guy to pick up his grandma from the police station, Elmer eats an earbud, and hemp brings back memories of Vietnam for Birchum.

Gladys wants to trademark a popular phrase, a cat orders cleaners for his owner's apartment, and Terrence asks Bobby Brown to change his name for Millie Bobby Brown.

Bobby searches for very specific bumper stickers, a bra fitting leaves Gladys feeling microaggressed, Elmer develops a taste for edibles, and Hadassah finds her dream diet.

Terrence arranges a rafting trip for Ariana Grande, Punkie Johnson feels entitled to fine art royalties, and Ron Funches seeks a committed tag team partner.

Kevin Nealon places an emphatic flower order, Spoonie Luv tries to take a very early family photo, and Bobby seeks acupuncture for his chronic belching.

Chelsea Peretti tries to find her missing sandwich, an incoming caller seeks a free aquarium, and Niles plans a party to celebrate his being accused of sexual harassment.

Roy Wood Jr. plans a one-way trip to Africa, Spoonie Luv tries to book a zero-G-spot, and Jeff Ross roasts a dog groomer.

Landalious creates his own karaoke opportunity, Abbi Jacobson tries to get into character, and Niles and Giles look to take their internet videos to the next level.

Terrence plans a gender reveal for DJ Khaled, Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim negotiate a "legally" fun time, and Heidi Gardner practices condescending philanthropy.

Brian Posehn shares a password with the wrong person, an entrepreneur contacts a business with a similar sounding name, and a camper has a serious pest problem.

Iliza Shlesinger seeks help passing her dental technician exam, Demetri Martin vents his career frustrations, and Dick Birchum plans a birthday for his conjoined twins.

Landalious pitches his own wine brand, Elmer tries to find his missing gym clothes, and Bobby tries to leverage his Yelp notoriety to get special treatment at a restaurant.

Model train enthusiasts try to prevent vandalism; an aerial gymnast gets tangled in a silk sling; Spoonie Luv learns about aphrodisiacs from a New Orleans cooking school.

J.Lo needs a luxurious new hat, Shasta gives a helpful heads-up that she'll be shopping while Black, and Trixie Mattel tries to make their tiny boyfriend feel big.

A delivery man is determined to drop off a shipment of 12,000 muffins, a sunbather deals with an infestation of perverted squirrels, and two kids try to swim at a senior center.

Terrence helps Justin Bieber acquire a hippo, Kathy Griffin seeks a sculpture of her ex-husband, Gladys tries to undo her self-acupuncture, and Ron Funches goes to the wrong open house.

Caleb Hearon organizes Hands Across America 2, Bobby Brown deals with a painful rat problem, and Paul Scheer gets a frozen tongue from an ultra-cold smoothie.

The Q-Tip King asks skate store employees if they want in on his scheme, a retirement home tries to complete an old man's bucket list, and the first female jet skier prepares for her debut.

Trixie Mattel loses a special false eyelash, Tiffany Haddish leads a doughnut shop worker in prayer, and Spoonie Luv (Tracy Morgan) wants to commemorate an intimate moment in ink.

Iliza Shlesinger questions an odd smell after a car wash, Heidi Gardner wants to hire a topless maid to get revenge on a rival, and Jonathan Kimmel provides forklift customer service.

Sam Jay has a creative solution for her girlfriend's loud TV habits, Mike Tyson (Bobby Brown) tells a cryogenics employee his reproductive concerns, and Elmer takes issue with KFC's "hats."

Annie Murphy struggles to retrieve her vehicle from a towing company, Wanda Sykes berates a driving instructor about his stance on road rage, and Adam Carolla needs to give his wife a lift.

A woman hatches a scheme to get space from a coworker, Elmer wants his late wife's obituary to help him find love, and a cornhole enthusiast explains how the game has changed his life.

A woman wants to raise the stakes of her boyfriend's next apology, brothers offer to be employed as a two-for-one deal, and an expecting mother prepares for her baby's race reveal party.

Birchum quizzes a carpenter on his occupational expertise, a woman wants to learn French to solve a neighborly dispute, and a nervous caller needs reassurance for her first wax appointment.

A parent wants to make sure his kid's unique needs are met in day care, brothers want to paint a mural to commemorate their cousin, and Gladys is having embarrassing webcam issues.

A man's CrossFit passion gives him newfound confidence, Niles complains about a yacht club's customer service, and a Christmas fanatic is bothered by a business's lack of holiday spirit.

A man thinks he's been permanently affected by a swimming pool, Mike Tyson offers his services to a flower shop, and Terrence wants to help Nicole Kidman conquer her fear of butterflies.

Brothers want a sensual bagel display for a bar mitzvah; Bill Maher, Jeff Goldblum and Caitlyn Jenner call a hardware store for their reality show; and a man wants to be put in his place.