Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide

The first day of school means schedule juggling as Moze tries to dodge Ned and Cookie for at least one class; a smelly locker neighbor sends Ned looking for a different spot, while Moze tries to attract friends with her decorating skills; Cookie laments his "locker at the end of the universe."

Moze discovers Ned has a secret admirer; Cookie becomes trapped in the girl's bathroom; Bully Loomer kidnaps Ned and Cookie's baby.

Ned deals with Mr. Sweeney; Moze's math class gets a student teacher; Cookie's affection for the Spanish teacher is a problem.

Ned schemes to sit at the "cool" table in the lunchroom and gets an insight; basketball tryouts cause Ned anxiety; Cookie tries out for the cheerleading squad.

It's "crush time" at James K. Polk Middle School and no one is safe from getting their heart broken, including Ned, who comes up with a plan to get Suzie Crabgrass (Christian Serratos) to be his date for the "Dances with Wolves" dance. Meanwhile, Cookie turns to technology to find his perfect match, with mixed results. Mr. Monroe: Jim J. Bullock. Gordy: Daran Norris.

Ned tries to avoid getting sick when a special guest speaker arrives at school; Moze has anxiety over a speech; Cookie aims for perfect attendance.

Ned and Moze deal with rumors about their relationship. Later, the kids get ready for their close-ups as the yearly ritual of school photos looms near. Scoop: Vincent Martella. Nurse Hunsucker: Mary Bogue. Lunch Lady: Loni Love. Doris: Jennifer Hyatt.

Ned is an unwilling candidate for student-body president, and later he concocts an entertaining alternative to what promises to be a boring school talent show.

Ned, Moze and Cookie need to find a new way to fill their time after the computer lab is made off limits to them. Later, the three kids deal with backpack dilemmas.

Ned is in trouble with Sweeney for a passing a note in class. Later, Ned's friendship with Cookie seems like it might crumble; Moze continues her quest for some female companionship.

"The Fairly OddParents" pop into Ned's daydream to offer him help in solving a riddle. Later, Cookie excels in martial arts.

Ned and his friends learn a valuable lesson: Cheaters never prosper. Later, the kids deal with bullies. Claire: Brooke Marie Bridges. Loomer: Kyle Swann. Mr. Monroe: Jim J. Bullock.

Emergency drills at school interfere with Ned asking Suzie Crabtree to be his date for a party. Later, Moze thinks she may have found the perfect girl to be her best friend; Loomer seeks Ned's advice on how to win Moze's heart.

Ned, Moze and Cookie start off the school year by trying to cross off items on their new semester to-do lists. One of Ned's top goals is to kiss Suzie Crabgrass, but she already has a beau: bully Loomer. Later, the kids try to determine what elective to take for an easy A grade. While Cookie has his heart set on Mr. Monroe's Life Science Extreme, Ned is convinced that cooking is going to be as easy as pie.

A school pep rally finds Ned donning a wolf costume, while Cookie prepares to unveil a stunt for the halftime show. Later, Ned is on a mission to stop a kid from taking bites out of other children's lunches. Also: Lunch Lady makes creepy predictions; Moze tries to figure out why Suzie won't dine with her.

Ned's up in arms about the formation of a club called Missy's Declassified School Survival Guide, while Moze and Suzie compete to be the best at various extracurricular activities. Later, the kids work on multimedia projects, including a collaboration by Ned and Cookie.

A "golden notebook" captures the attention of Ned and Gordy, who plot to procure it for themselves, while Moze obtains a notebook that's a treasure trove of juicy school gossip; Ned starts a study group for the top math students; Moze struggles with pre-algebra; Cookie is promoted to Honors math.

Ned and Moze offer a few remedies for combating those Monday morning blahs, while Cookie tries to save Gordy's job by preventing the custodian from snoozing at work. Later, Ned and his friends are suspected by the vice principal of destroying woodshop property. Gordy: Daran Norris.

Ned tries to solve his procrastination problem before a big project is due, while Lisa Zemo (Rachel Sibner) comes up with a clever way to spend more time with Cookie. Later, Ned starts lifting weights; the benefits of being tall elude Moze; and Cookie creates his own exoskeleton suit, drawing inspiration from lobsters and armadillos. Loomer: Kyle Swann. Coconut Head: Rob Pinkston. Suzie: Christian Serratos.

Ned offers a school tour to incoming students and gets stuck guiding the overly rambunctious Palmer Noid. Meanwhile, Cookie tries to impress a girl by masquerading as an eighth-grader. Later, Ned debates whether he should participate in a biology dissection; and Cookie and Gordy leap into action to free a lab frog.

The kids take dares: Ned works up the nerve to ask a popular classmate out on a date; Moze spends an entire day in a party dress; and Cookie tries to jump over a shark on a bike. Later, the three friends attempt to correct bad habits, including Ned's inability to say "no," Moze's potty mouth and Cookie's pack-rat tendencies.

Ned comes to the rescue of his favorite elementary-school substitute teacher by helping him connect with middle-school students. Meanwhile, Cookie masquerades as a sub. Later, Ned lends a helping hand to a new student.

Ned, Moze and Cookie make changes to the school Web site. Afterward, the arrival of Valentine's Day finds Ned and Cookie sending roses, while Moze receives a lot of attention.

Ned performs potentially dangerous stunts in a half-baked attempt to earn a "cool" nickname; Moze tries to get her classmates to call her Jennifer; and Cookie's newest invention is misused by Loomer for bullying purposes. Later, the quest for Ned's ideal girlfriend and Moze's perfect best friend continues. Also, students attend a shyness seminar run by Cookie.

Ned tries a slightly indirect approach to asking Suzie Crabgrass out on a date; a teacher enlists Cookie's help in catching Gordy's eye; and Seth seems oblivious to Moze's romantic advances. Later, the students compete in a recycling contest for the top prize of a new mountain bike.

Ned, Cookie and Gordy set out to pull an April Fool's Day prank on Vice Principal Crubbs, while Moze tries to convince Seth that their breakup is no practical joke. Later, Ned finds himself in a strange situation when a dog actually does eat his homework; and two dates get canceled because of supposedly sick grandmothers.

A car wash to raise funds for the school turns into a competition pitting the boys against the girls, with the winner getting to decide how the proceeds will be spent. Later, Ned and Cookie are sworn to secrecy after they catch Loomer kissing Missy; and Moze discovers something about Seth that may prevent him from playing on the basketball team.

Ned enters into a heavy-duty competition against Martin Qwerly (Tylor Chase) for the honor of being named the Spirit Week King. Later, Missy Meanie (Carlie Casey) forms her own "fashion police" and issues violations to Ned and Moze; and Cookie designs a unisex school uniform.

Ned hopes his smile is selected as the best so that he can have his picture next to Suzie's in the yearbook. Later, during career week, Vice Principal Crubbs (Hamilton Mitchell) tries to persuade an uninterested Ned to pursue a job in education, while Cookie dreams of becoming a sports agent, with Moze as his first superstar client.

Ned and Cookie are initially bored as they learn to play musical instruments; Moze gets Mozart stuck in her head. Later, the kids look for a new class clown.

Ned tries to become a top notch student to get into the 8th Grade. Unless Ned can find a good tutor, he will go to Summer School.

A mean science teacher motivates Ned to try to win this year's science fair, at which Cookie tries to win the approval of his ex-girlfriend's grandmother. Later, Ned has an important test to prepare for during study hall, while Cookie looks forward to a romantic rendezvous, and an injured Moze endures the embarrassment of having to wear a traction harness.

The final dance of the year finds Ned and Suzie double-dating with Moze and an attractive boy named Jock Bitterman, while Cookie tries to manage escorting two different girls---neither of whom knows about the other. Later, it's the last day of school, and a robot created by Cookie wreaks havoc in the hallways.

Ned and Moze have new attitudes as they enter the eighth grade, while Cookie gains a new appreciation for Lisa Zemo. Later, Ned's dodgeball team faces off against bully Loomer and his secret weapon.

Ned avoids his school reading assignments; Cookie tries to join Moze's girls-only book club. Also, the kids are desperate to keep Vice Principal Crubbs from taking over the retiring principal Pal's job.

The friends cope with stress in their lives. Ned is uneasy about Suzie's new beau; Cookie feels under pressure when his status as the smartest kid in school comes under threat; Moze worries about everything.

Art class finds Ned inadvertently drawing a naked lady, while Moze's photographs cause embarrassment, and Cookie receives praise for his creations. Later, Ned and Moze both have their eyes on a pair of expensive sneakers in the lost-and-found; and Cookie panics over losing a voice recorder.

Principal Pal gives Ned, Moze and Cookie six hours to plan a scary Halloween party, which they do, but perhaps their haunted hallway is a little too frightening. Later, Ned has a nightmare, in which he is a vampire, Moze is a ghost and Cookie is a werewolf, and all of them still are plagued with school-related problems.

The kids are paired up for social-studies class, and Cookie is stuck with loony Evelyn, while jealous feelings arise when Ned picks Suzie over Moze. Later, the friends cope with embarrassing situations.

Ned's on a mission to keep Suzie from reading an embarrassing love letter; and Moze goes out of her way to sit next to her newest crush on the school bus, which Cookie has missed. Also, Ned attempts to sneak out of school to get a haircut; Moze gets a new hairdo; and Cookie grows a mustache.

Suzie moves her stuff into Ned's locker, and Cookie shares an accidental kiss with Evelyn. Later, the friends take part in a school play.

The kids deal with feelings of revenge. Later, Ned is shocked to discover that his record in middle school will matter in high school; Moze tries to make a name for herself in sports; and Cookie struggles to keep his perfect attendance intact.

The kids try volunteering. Ned helps out an an old-age home, while Moze and Loomer make repairs at the school. Also: Ned and Cookie try to bust a book-stealing ring at the library.

Ned becomes a hall monitor. Later, he and Moze try to come up with a way for their friend who's moving to stay.

Ned stops writing the guide after Suzie moves away, so Cookie tries to cheer him up. Later, Ned looks for a new girlfriend with Moze's help, while Cookie goes undercover dressed as girl.

Ned and Suzie are at odds after a bad phone call, while Moze has trouble with her new phone. Later, Ned thinks he may like Moze, who is busy with a secret project, while Cookie does battle with a power saw.

Moze and Cookie organize a rally against the vice principal; Ned tries to use one extra-credit project for four different classes; Cookie gets a credit card; Moze builds a huge volcano for a school project.

Cookie and Ned attempt to raise money with a school fund-raiser, but their debt keeps growing; Ned enters a social-studies competition, while Moze worries she's lost her competitive edge.

Ned and Cookie make new friends; Moze wants a shopping pal. Next, Ned tries to cheer up the most negative kid in school, Moze is disappointed by Faymen's kisses and Cookie uses static electricity.

Ned tries to raise money to buy tickets to a rock concert. Later, he takes Missy to a party, but he tries to get rid of her when Suzie shows up.

Spring Fever takes over as Ned tries to skip class and Moze starts spring cleaning. Later, Ned and Moze investigate a school scandal and Cookie starts a horoscope column.

Ned wants to get rid of Missy, so he asks Moze on a pretend date; Cookie also pretends to have someone special, hoping to make Lisa jealous. Later, Moze purloins the CPR dummy to be cleaned, but Cookie mistakes it for Faymen when it falls out the window.

Ned has three big tests on the same day, but Moze has a different one in mind: she tests him and Faymen to see which is the better boyfriend. Next, Cookie figures out how to get Lisa to himself and Moze figures out who she likes best.