Teachers

It is Simon's birthday, and in an effort to feel young, he and a group of his colleagues break into their own school at night, and the escapade ends with a startling confession.

Simon is caught between Jenny and Susan as they compete for the post of head of year, and one of Simon's pupils is caught with cannabis after smoking it with Simon.

Simon is asked to move out of the house by his father, who wants to make room for his girlfriend and her daughter. About to become homeless, he is rescued from his plight by Kurt and Brian.

Simon is worried that his sex life is diminishing; He feels intimidated when he learns how adventurous Maggie was before she met him.

Susan suggests that a fed-up Simon move in with Maggie. Later, two children disciplined by Jenny and Simon take their revenge by locking the two teachers in a cupboard, with revealing results.

Susan is pushed past her breaking point when her husband turns up at open evening angrily demanding she attend a dinner for his work, and she storms off - leaving Simon feeling guilty for not being more supportive of her.

Simon is distracted from his application by a female student's chest complaint. Meanwhile, pornography has been circulating around the school with staff's faces superimposed on them, to Brian and Kurt's amusement.

Simon has nightmares before his interview which is to take place on the last day of term. He also suspects that Jenny is trying to sabotage Susan's chances of landing the year head position full time, and decides to confront her.

Susan is attracted to the new languages teacher, but when she finally plucks up the courage to act on her feelings she makes a surprising discovery.

Simon feels threatened by JP's presence in the school. Kurt manages to persuade Penny to pretend to be his girlfriend in order to convince Carol that their relationship is really over.

Susan begins to feel like a gooseberry living with Jenny and Alec, then feels annoyed when Jenny takes advice from Alec instead of her.

Ms Bennigan learns Hot Dad's son has to repeat second grade. Ms Snap brings her dog to school as a therapy dog. When Ms Feldman has to teach her students Common Core, she discovers it's more complicated than she thought.

Susan's frustration with Alec reaches boiling point, so she drags the others to the house so they can witness for themselves. Meanwhile, Brian and Kurt are left confused when JP spends the night with a girl.

It's becoming increasingly clear that Penny is not very good at her job, but she manages to get Bob to be her mentor instead of Jenny. With her ability to wrap him around her little finger, Bob goes through a mini midlife crisis.

Susan decides she wants to have a baby, and while Kurt and Brian accept the idea and even offer themselves as possible fathers, Simon is appalled at the idea of not having Susan to himself any more.

Simon begins to question everything about his life and realises that he is not ready to become a fully responsible adult, but will he be able to say goodbye to his friends and routine?

After dumping Alec, Jenny decides to get her life and work back on track and initiates a new scheme for monitoring dysfunctional students, which results in more work for everyone.

The teachers look forward to the Christmas break, and the female staff find their interest piqued by Simon's replacement, Matt. Later, at the party, everyone is on the prowl, and Carol makes Kurt doubt his decision to split up.

A new teacher, Lindsay, arrives at the school and Brian finds himself getting along with her exceptionally well - until Kurt points something out to him.

Penny's self-obsession and self-pity have reached dizzying new heights. She's driving everyone insane - everyone who's still talking to her, anyway. Bored to tears with listening to Penny's moaning, Lindsay finally cracks.

Kurt resolves to give up smoking when he meets a woman at a parents evening. However, can the lure of sex be enough of an incentive to give up?

Thrown out of his own house so his wife can move her new young boyfriend in, Bob's life is in tatters. He's been reduced to setting up home in his office, his clothes are decaying on his back, he's barely coping with his job and there's a lingering odour hanging around him that even showers in the school gym can't shift. For the first time in her hard-hearted life, Liz looks at this dishevelled wreck and takes pity on him.

Lindsay's about to be 30 and that's fine by her. Fine, that is, until everyone else helpfully points out that 30 is in fact very old. Her life as she knows it is practically over. Lindsay's is thrown into turmoil. What's the best way to handle being 30, grow old with grace and start acting your age, or to go completely the other way?

With half the staff signed off with stress and the other half becoming even more stressed as a result, Clare assigns each staff member a stress partner - which seems to suit Matt and Lindsay very well, to Penny's chagrin.

Something sinister is in the air. Lindsay is the first to notice a bearded stranger lurking by the school's perimeter fence, but it turns out he may not be a stranger after all.

The English department is left without a head when Bob is taken in for emergency surgery, and Clare decides that Matt is the ideal choice to act as Bob's replacement. An unwilling Matt steps up, reassuring Penny and Simon that he has no intention of being a boss.

In the pub, the teachers all start to get depressed that not one of them is in a functional relationship when Liz points out the obvious; Brian and Kurt are clearly as good as married. They live together, work together, and go out together, it's the perfect relationship.

Lindsay is in trouble. Students have complained about her, parents have complained about her and not taking those complaints seriously has resulted in a formal warning. Desperate to keep her job, radical action is needed. She's going to transform herself into `super-teacher' - with a bit of help from unlikely guru Bob.

Brian's obsessed with dinner lady Eileen, and when she asks him out, he realises that he has no idea about how to talk to or interact with women socially. Suddenly Brian realises that he doesn't have a clue how to behave - what are you supposed to talk to women about?

When Brian and Kurt race each other to school, Kurt's desire to win results in injury. Brian's attempts to administer first aid only serve to make things worse and Kurt ends up in a wheelchair. Embarrassed, helpless, and most of all furious, Kurt is absolutely determined that if he has to suffer then Brian's going to suffer too.

There's definitely something in the air: Penny's started a new romance, Clare's getting frisky, and in a drunken moment Matt and Lindsay find themselves snogging. Completely shocked with themselves, there's only one thing to do; pretend it never happened.

Summerdown has merged with another school in the area, and it is all change for the teachers. Bob has been demoted, and his new boss seems to be a hit with all the women. Lindsay and Penny are trying to integrate and make friends with the new teachers, but not all of them are really interested.

Penny makes a pass at Ewan, but it all ends in humiliation. It's not long, however, before Penny is annoying everyone again with news that she has a new admirer, but the problem is, no one can find out who he is.

Ewan is thrown into turmoil when he finds out that a pupil, John, fancies him; and all his attempts to handle the situation sensitively backfire horribly.

It's Obesity Awareness Month and Ben becomes obsessed with Lindsay's weight. It's purely selfish, of course; he's worried that her death would be bad for his own stress levels.

It's religious tolerance week and as Bob finally takes delivery of his new wife, the teachers prepare to represent their allocated religions for the tolerance fair.

After discovering that Penny's real surname is Eichmann, the others take great pleasure in winding her up - she's blonde, she hates foreign food, she has no black friends - could she actually be a racist?

Damien falls for Anna, the substitute teacher - the only problem being that an unfortunate incident with a pupil and an icing bag has rendered him impotent. Can he solve his problem before Anna starts to think he's not worth it?

While trying to find an excuse to get out of Bob's stag night, Ben is reminded of a ouija board prediction: he is going to die on Friday.

The end of term is fast approaching. The school is trashed after the Christmas party, the teachers are hungover, Bob is getting married in the playground, and the Ofsted Inspector is due.